A photo of Kraut Schitzel and Nebbish Hamwini harrassing a kid
Yokels in Nowhere have been asking themselves what ever happened to a couple of wacked out freaks who showed up in these parts a few weeks back. It’s not known how the weirdos arrived in Nowhere spouting their spurious nonsense, but they definitely annoyed a few folks for at least several minutes. They paraded up and down Nowhere Blvd pompously proclaiming that they were the new “arbiters of reality,” whatever that’s supposed to mean. The pair announced themselves to be one Kraut Schnitzel and Nebbish Hamwini and then began to blather on suggesting various absurdities like bug barbecue, giving all property to Kraut, wearing only beige and getting injected with some unknown substance. Mayor Boob-Hoo declared the pair “unwanted grifters” which did nothing to shut them up. People willfully ignored them for a while but eventually the Wicked Witch of Nowhere got wind of their idiocy and placed what she announced as a “Hear-No-Evil/See-No-Evil” curse on them, whereupon they seemingly vanished. Some people did find evidence of their continuing existence through means of digital photography and infrared sensing for about a week, but at that point the images of them began to shrink until finally, no trace could be located. It was initially understood that they were simply invisible and inaudible because of their bad ideas, but even more subtle indications of their limited existence eventually began to fade.
Professor Prattle of Nowhere University was contacted for comment. “It’s likely that because of the inability of these absurd clowns to get attention they became like the tree that falls in the woods when nobody can hear it,” explained Prattle. “They simply ceased to exist because they were no longer perceived to exist. I think this is one instance in which we can thank the Wicked Witch of Nowhere for relieving everyone of needless blathering by a pair of dimwits.”
Nowhere officials have announced that there will be no search for Kraut Shnitzel and Nebbish Hamwini because nobody particularly wants them found. They also note that any attempt to locate the obnoxious pair of grifters would probably anger the Wicked Witch since she’s obviously responsible for their removal from reality and nobody wants to risk that. Some have even proposed sending her a “thank you” card.
If anyone should sight the grifting morons, it’s been suggested by Sheriff Jim-Bob that the sighting be reported to our local evil-doer that they might be re-hexed or whatever on would do in such a situation of hex-failure.
