Nowhere, West Texas-
Time is reportedly becoming strange of late (whatever that means now, if there is a now) in the Nowhere region of West Texas. Several folks have had their past altered in recored history despite their memory of past events being entirely different than the recorded data for those events. Or so they say. Those who claim retro-causality are often considered unreliable witnesses to their own experience, so many are happy to disregard claims of altered timelines. “I did see Bill-Roger on August 23rd, and I do have a credit card receipt to prove it, but if there’s proof he was at the Eiffel Tower that day, who am I to question it?” opined his drinking buddy Sam-Bob. “Damn it, Sam-Bob. I beat you at pool that day. That’s why you won’t admit I spent all day a Randy’s Roadhouse with you. Or maybe you were concussed when that English fellow clubbed you with a bass guitar,” was Bill-Roger’s retort, to which Sam-Bob only shrugged. “I’ve never set foot on French soil,” Bill-Roger added as his drinking buddy walked away to get another round.
“Sam-Bob had the temerity to suggest that I bi-located or time traveled. August 23rd wasn’t that long ago. I think I’d remember that sort of thing. Look, I have video on my phone of that Brit bashing Sam-Bob. It has a date. I was here, thank heavens. I’d not have missed that British bloke beating Sam-Bob for all the cheese curds in Canada.
“While Bill-Roger did produce the video of the much-celebrated bass-bludgeoning, that could have been taken by anyone.” Stated local know-it-all, Professor Prattle, of Nowhere State University as he squinted through his monocle, his tone condescending enough to cancel any doubt anyone might raise on the matter. “Bill-Roger is obviously obfuscating a time-travel or bi-location event, which for whatever reason he doesn’t want the area yokels to know about. This is most likely because he’s hiding some kind of activity related to The Wicked Witch of Nowhere,” Prattle added.
 |
| Professor Prattle, Local Know-it-All |
The purported proof which probably proves practically zilch:
“Melba Jones got a bill from a the Menger Hotel last week,” Sam-Bob pointed out following Prattle’s departure. “She’s never even been there. I’m telling you, time is taking a strange turn ‘round these parts.”
“Whether one believes such tales or not, it hardly matters. Time is illusory,” stated local quantum physics know-it-all, Mr. Jones. “Just run along and don’t worry your pretty little heads over it. Either that, or take it up with the Witch.”
The Tumbleweed would contact the Witch for comments were it safe to do so.
