Boob-hoo, Former Evil Clown Mayor of Nowhere
Nowhere and parts therabouts have been overrun of late by a horde of masked bandits, whom nobody can clearly identify because they are wearing masks, mostly in the form of bandanas over the lower portion of the face, but some more goofy permutations have been observed. The wearers of these masks are apparently afflicted with some kind of mental illness that has them skittering away, wide-eyed and fearful if approached for questioning. The paranoid behaviors of the masked nitwits has prevented anyone from ascertaining any real knowledge of their affliction, so they are obviously considered to be nuts. There is an ominous side to this story, however. It might even be another evil plot, which is not without precedent.
The situation harkens back to the mask craze of 2016 when half the populace dressed up as scary clowns and menaced this entire neck of the wastelands. This presaged a great clown incursion into our collective reality sandwich here in Nowehere. Boob-hoo the crazed clown comic creep was thereafter elected mayor of Nowhere by a few of the inhabitants who were too stupid and lazy to be out fighting the plague of snakes which had been released from planes over the town by a deranged flying clown circus. Since then, the residents of Nowhere have been transported through a warped carnival looking glass into a bizarre alternate reality where nonsense is credited as sound reasoning and everyone believes in invisible menaces to their safety. What this all portends we don't rightly know, however, there are rumblings of some more strange happenings, as it is rumored that Lulu has once again absconded or been shanghaied from the Walla Walla environs with no word yet as to her location. Sky writing has appeared during the last three days which seems to allude to a new and improved Wicked Witch adventure in which Lulu may very well be participating. Three days ago, the sky was observed to declare, "Lulu is Busy.”
Whether her participation is voluntary or not is very much a question. However, it is reported that since the end of her Sugarland and West Texas adventure of yore, Lulu and her aunt have truly melded forces in order to take over the role of reality creation in the physical universe and beyond. This is widely considered by the intelligentsia of Nowhere to be a complete wicked fabrication for obfuscatory purpose or a folie au deux or a secret mission involving alternate universes. It could also be all three or something else entirely or some things that are simultaneously contradictory. We are simply reporting the facts as they become known.
Some rumors suggest that Lulu and The Witch are merely masked, but that they are experimenting with magical mask tech that enables complete invisibility, or even shape-shifting. That is considered to be the most likely scenario. There have been unconfirmed sightings of Lulu with The Wicked Witch in which they simply vanished from plain sight. These eyewitness accounts were given by people who were formerly considered sane but who have for now been corralled since they are obviously crazy. Anyone who sees Lulu and The Witch appear and vanish again is urged to call the Nowhere Sheriff so they might be properly caged and quarantined for craziness.
Some have suggested wearing masks to protect themselves from this mass insanity. Where this will end is anyone’s guess.
