Nowhere, Tx. Reports are rolling in today from across West Texas of extreme levels of ultra-weird-- some spikes in the chaosphere actually exploding strangometers in certain locales. Scientists have declared a "state of strange emergency" in large swaths of the state, with the most mind-blowing effects observed in the region around Marfa. The Wicked Witch of West Texas is likely connected to these phenomenon, but it is not yet known how. She was thought to have relocated her West Texas concerns to other, more emerald cities. Calls to Washington State, where the suspect began her career under the pseudonym Wicked Witch of Walla Walla, continuing as the Wicked Witch of Western Washington before taking up residence some years ago in Texas. Thus far inquiries have produced few answers. Her former Washington state headquarters seem also to have been inundated by time warp waves much like her abandoned Texas locations.
One sky-written announcement was drone-delivered earlier today. Reports of its wording differ, but one consistent message seems to be that Wicked-Leaks, run by rogue weirdo and provocateur, Zelda del West, is likely planning a big revelation very soon. Many in West Texas fear that this will just upset the apple cart, but others point out that to make an omelet one must break a few eggs. Still others wish not to cry over spilt milk and yet another faction is lobbying for a stitch in time. Many believe that the "stitch faction," as they have become known, is operating with inside knowledge of what is driving this chaos.
Citizens of the most baffled burgs are being advised to go about their normal activities as predictably and unexcitingly as they can, avoiding all things novel or interesting. It is thought by experts in West Texas culture that this state of affairs will likely be all but unnoticed in the places under warning.
