Monday, January 17, 2011

Employees of Local Store Hexed in Wake of Broom Theft

Former Store Manager, Bob Ross
San Antonio- A local store which, earlier this week, was the location of an unfortunate broom misplacement and subsequent theft, has seen employees hit with a number of hexes, as the Wicked Witch of West Texas has tried to no avail to gain information on the whereabouts of her cinnamon sports broom. The Witch announced Monday that she was certain Lulu had stolen the broom and gone into hiding with it somewhere in Texas, but she now believes that Lulu could not have pulled off the feat without inside help. Employees at the store swore they had no idea how Lulu could have known the broom would be in the store, or how she could possibly have known the exact moment the Wicked Witch was on a taco break, but the Witch wasn't convinced. She first demonstrated her displeasure by turning the manager of the store, one Bob Ross, into an armadillo. The employees still had no new information on the broom theft, so she followed by turning them one by one into various critters that will be right at home in West Texas. The checker who was on duty during the theft is now rattle snake, while the employee who was stocking shelves at the time became a Mexican free tailed bat.

"I think the guy who got to be a bat is the luckiest," said one former customer of the store. "Sure he has to eat bugs and can only go out at night, but at least he has some of the coolest flying skills ever."

"I am sure Lulu is still around these parts, probably nervous as a hog on ice wondering what I'll do to her when I find her," the Witch said today. "She should be nervous. I can tell you that much, and whomever is hiding her is in even bigger trouble than she is. As for the employees of that awful little store, I'm sure they would thank me for liberating them if they could still talk. I have just one message for Lulu: If you turn yourself in, and return the broom I'll go easy on you. You know I'll find you anyway."

Upon finishing her statement she waved her wand and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Anyone who has knowledge of the location of the stolen broom is advised to change his or her identity and leave the country.