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| Professor Prattle |
Middle of Nowhere - Professor Erasmus Prattle of University of West Texas, Middle of Nowhere, delivered a lecture yesterday in front of Bob's Barbeque on his controversial view regarding Wicked Witches. In his new book, "Not Wicked- Just Sad," Prattle argues that being forced to wear unfashionable garments in early childhood is the common cause in all cases of adult Wickidity.
"These unfortunate individuals are extremely sensitive aesthetically and being forced to wear hideous clothing creates a trauma to the psyche," Professor Prattle explained, adjusting his pince nez.
Prattle argues that instead of ostracizing them, we should invite Wicked Witches to soirees, ice cream socials and pinochle games, perhaps even scrabble tournaments. "If you do these things you will find that the people society has labeled with appellations like "Wicked" and "Diabolical" are really just harmless eccentrics."
There was to be a question and answer session, but it had to be cancelled when Professor Prattle suddenly transformed into a blue-lipped fence gecko and ran into a stampeding herd of cattle before he could be captured. Immediately after his disappearance the Wicked Witch of West Texas took to the sky to announce, via sky writing, that all copies of the book were henceforth hexed. One of her minions, a person only describable as a weirdo, arrived not long after to tell the assembled crowd that if anyone else wanted to question her evil ranking, "they should speak up now as the wand is warmed up and waiting."
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| What Professor Prattle Looks Like Now, Minus the Blue Lips |
Local residents are being asked to keep an eye out for Professor Prattle who may appear to be a small blue-lipped lizard, possibly with an affinity for fences. The reward being offered consists of a large pile of signed first edition copies of his book.
