Fresh from their victory in determining that our country can't be called "democratic" in textbooks and that there is no such thing as a separation of church and state in the constitution, emboldened political hacks in Texas are ready to take on the next offender to their fantasy lives: gravity.
"'’Em science types want us all to believe in gravity, but it's just a theory. Things do fall sometimes, but the Bible says that it's because of evil demons that make stuff go down. How do they explain birds and planes? Everybody knows that angels make birds and planes fly up in the sky, so why are they tryin' to tell us this crazy gravity theory? It's junk science." This is the argument being raised by Booger Bob of Nowhere, Tx. He argues that the theory of gravity is all just a plot to make people question whether heaven is up or down. "We all know that heaven it right above the blue part that the clouds move across," Booger explained.
"It's true that the Bible don't say nothin' about gravity," Reverend Jim-Jay confirmed. "It's just not there, so if these elitists want to try to say it exists they're just fooling themselves. But they could be in big trouble if they get in one of those flying machines and the angels carrying it decide they're tired of people saying they don't exist and then they just drop it right on the ground because if they don't hold it up it will fall. That much is certain."
