That's right, folks. Some residents of Nowehere, West Texas are calling for a local plea to the Wicked Witch of Wherever to return to the area and stop the whole darned place sliding off the edge of the world. Magical balloons and extra-dimensional fences are being bandied about by the local intelligentsia possible solutions to the weirdness. Some also suggest that the sprouting of the recent horde of glowy unicorns from the offgasses and the electrical overcharges which coalesce with the lights to foment strange, strange life forms. Anyway, the unicorns are seen, currently, as a somewhat artsy bit of weirdness, and thus rather amusing, even if rather cliché.
"I think that every time a unicorn is born, the ground sinks a little. Or visa-versa or opposite." Hilda Smurts caresses her chin, speculating on the latest exotic happenings. "I kinda like the unicorns, even if Professor Prattle thinks they're a sign that it's all coming to an end. The Walmarts and everything. Walmart actually has unicorns. I told him that and he said I just couldn't understand his smart talk."
"The ground is sinking and people pay no attention because they are so entranced by this unicorn fantasy. Everyone is out looking all of the time and the more they look for them the more they see them and the more they see the more everyone sees and then the world is awash in imaginary unicorns. Who is directing every single bit of this unicorn army? The cereal, the jammies, the costumes (invokation suits), the candies and cakes and lattes and donuts and souffles and poisoeuvres? Herb the Battle Unicorn is behind it all, but just whom might this be? Nobody knows, but suffice it to say, this Herb has ideas and is very dangerous. People need to stop paying attention to the unicorns and just focus on the ground sinking as if we didn't know what's really going on."
"Everybody knows that unicorns protect the innocent, so I don't know what all of these folks are so worried about," says one Wild Ed outside the Dragon Tracks convenience store.
"This could actually be partially caused by what's sometimes referred to as 'gravity'," says Professor Prattle of Nowhere Normal School, "Folks should keep in mind that things go down sometimes because of pressure exerted on the earth by fallen angels. It's like a soufflé that was dropped on the floor. That's all. A logical explanation would do more to allay fears than this nonsense about unicorns."
